Rat Man
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I told this story once before here but it's been a while. It took place in the early eighties. I was just finishing up college after the army and worked as a security guard at a fiberglass plant. I had been dating my sister's teenaged babysitter, Marie. Shame on me. Marie's dad had just died of Leukemia so out of necessity we got an apartment. I was making $120.00 a week. We were dirt poor. But we were young so it didn't matter. We never starved but we had to be creative to keep eating. Egg Week, Potato Week, Mackerel Month, etc. We ate what we could get hold of. It was the day before Thanksgiving and the plant was giving away free turkeys to all of the employees. Marie and I needed that turkey. Every plant has one supervisor who is a miserable prick. Certainteed had Kurkus. Kurkus was second in command of the plant. Think Frank Burns from M.A.S.H. in civilian life. Kurkus marched into my guard shack and proclaimed that I didn't get a turkey because technically I didn't work for Certainteed, I worked for Piquette Security. I needed the crappy job so I could say nothing. My shift of plant workers was leaving. Many of them would pass through my guard shack and say goodbye or bat the breeze for a few minutes. Dave Brown stole an extra turkey and smuggled it into my shack in his clothes bag. "**** Kurkus! Happy Thanksgiving!" A few minutes later a supervisor, Bill Williams, came into my shack with a turkey. "**** Kurkus. Happy Thanksgiving." I hid both turkeys under the counter until I had an opportunity to smuggle them to my Jeep. A few minutes later Kurkus himself came into my guard shack, frozen turkey in hand. I guess he realized that he had been a jerk and felt guilty. "Happy Thanksgiving to you!" Marie was very surprised and happy when I came home with three huge turkeys. We ate turkey for the next two weeks and didn't mind at all.
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