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A Good Death (Read 1022 times)
Rat Man
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A Good Death
Mar 24th, 2023 at 10:45am
 
    What is a good death?  Is there such a thing?  After an eight year battle with Renal Cell Carcinoma my wife finally died nine years ago.  She passed while thoroughly drugged, in the wee hours, in a room full of family and friends.  I was holding her left hand and her brother was holding her right.  Though the years leading up to this were tragic and hard this seems like about as good a death as one could hope for. 
    My Mom was as tough a character as you could ever meet.  One of her many mantras throughout her life was "I don't want to die in some GD hospital with GD tubes and wires sticking out of me.  She was a heavy smoker and though she quit with me on November 19, 1988 she got lung cancer anyway.  She eventually passed in her own livingroom one night while alone.  Though I'm sure her actual dying was most unpleasant I sincerely believe she would call her own death a good one.  She was 87, completely independent and self supporting, and died at home on her own terms, without GD tubes and wires sticking out of her. 
     Personally I'd be happy with a quick, painless death of some sort, though it seldom works out that way.  I would consider that a success. 
     Sorry if this is gloomy but death is something we all have to deal with.  It's a part of life. 
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« Last Edit: Mar 25th, 2023 at 7:41am by Rat Man »  
 
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joe_meadmaker
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #1 - Apr 2nd, 2023 at 12:39pm
 
For me a good death would be quick, or peaceful, or both.  I think my biggest worry about death isn't the actual being dead part, but pain and/or discomfort being dragged out for a long time.
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Rat Man
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #2 - Apr 2nd, 2023 at 2:21pm
 
Agreed.  A perfect death would be a quick, painless one right after completing some amazing feat like right after catching a thirteen pound bass or bowling a perfect game.  But I'll settle for a sudden painless one 

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JudoP
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #3 - Apr 5th, 2023 at 1:35pm
 
I'm still relatively young but for me I consider it in terms of quality of life leading up to the death. I would want to stay active physically and mentally sharp well into old age and then when the time comes, probably an illness slow enough that people can see it coming and can say goodbyes, but not so slow that it becomes a burden to bear for those around me.
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NooneOfConsequence
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #4 - Apr 25th, 2023 at 5:31pm
 
Old age, affairs in order, surrounded by a loving family, not in a hospital, and peacefully falling asleep one last time never to wake up. That’s the ideal.
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“My final hour is at hand. We face an enemy more numerous and cunning than the world has yet seen. Remember your training, and do not fear the hordes of Judas. I, without sin, shall cast the first stone. That will be your sign to attack! But you shall not fight this unholy enemy with stones. No! RAZOR GLANDES!  Aim for the eyes! May the Lord have mercy, for we shall show none!“  -Jesus the Noodler
 
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jw
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #5 - Sep 13th, 2024 at 2:52am
 
Definitely agree with the quick and painless
But I think in the service of thers would be pretty good too like a firefighter
I'm still young though so I dont really know   this kinda makes me think of my great grandpa who was in world War 2 and got injured multiple times  I grew up hearing stories about him and my grandpa who was a paramedic/emt so I tend to think more positively of the heroic side of things.
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Scorpion Vin
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #6 - May 30th, 2025 at 7:45pm
 
NooneOfConsequence wrote on Apr 25th, 2023 at 5:31pm:
and peacefully falling asleep one last time never to wake up

How sad it sounded. "Never wake up."
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"Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.” ― Terry Pratchett
 
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #7 - May 30th, 2025 at 7:46pm
 
A good death is everything you listed, and I would also add: without regret.
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"Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.” ― Terry Pratchett
 
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #8 - May 30th, 2025 at 7:50pm
 
jw wrote on Sep 13th, 2024 at 2:52am:
I tend to think more positively of the heroic side of things

As one movie said:
"Everyone is afraid of death and pain, but a hero is capable of something that makes him a hero."
Your grandfather is a hero, I take my hat off to him.
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"Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.” ― Terry Pratchett
 
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #9 - May 30th, 2025 at 8:13pm
 
Thoughts about death clear the mind. You won’t put things off, you’ll do important things so that you have time to do everything and tell your loved ones what you haven’t had time to say yet.
When you understand and most importantly feel that someday there will be a "transition", and this is precisely what death is, where there is an end there is also a beginning of something else.
Death is just a transition.
Easy people have easy lives.
In life you need to be an optimist, because hope, as we know, dies last.
You also need to take good care of your body.
Be active, try to move more, and then the transition will really be quick and painless.
And yes, this life is definitely not that easy to understand.

There is definitely something to think about.

The pain of discipline weighs grams, while the pain of regret weighs tons.

What I mean is that if during life you work a lot on yourself and with yourself, study, read, develop, be useful to others, be honest and sincere and real, then such a life will have meaning.
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"Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.” ― Terry Pratchett
 
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TheLowlyEngineer
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #10 - Jun 11th, 2025 at 12:27pm
 
When I was younger I joked about "hitting the wall at Indy doing 230mph" would be an ok way to go.
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irgendeinekiwi
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #11 - Jun 13th, 2025 at 5:39am
 
I've seen my fair share of death at work (paramedic). As for a good death, I find it hard to define exactly, as the visage of peace that many desceased share regardless of the exact cause makes it almost seem irrelevant how it happens.
Even at what point one is truely "spiritually?" dead I can't quite figure out, (aside from the few medical definitions of course). Unconciousness, when the ECG flatlines or some other point?

That said, things like COPD, sepsis or even being in a nursing home; no thanks. The classic signing off in my sleep I imagine would be the more comfortable way.
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #12 - Jun 19th, 2025 at 5:24am
 
I'm similarly from a medical background. For those that don't know, I used to work as a nurse in an old age care ward. Specifically we were a dementia care ward, but we actually ended up with all types. Due to the conditions people that I care for had, often death was seen as a relief, as an almost pleasant thing, and, for a while, I managed to continue on in that job holding that belief that actually I was ok and even good when the residents died as they were no longer suffering or in pain. For a fair few, it could be argued how alive they even were at the end, their brains literally full of holes, unable to eat, talk, walk, dress themselves, clean themselves... They were essentially just bodies.

The thing is, they weren't. It took me a while to even realise, but I was hurting after every death, no matter how peaceful, no matter how painless and no matter how much it was a relief. I think one thing I really learned in that job is that death is really about the people left behind. The person that dies, well... they're dead. Their opinion or feelings don't matter much, it's the people left behind that feel the consequences of death and the consequences of death, whether it's prayed and hope for or comes out of the blue, will always hurt. Such is life.
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You are a great guy Kick but also slightly scary at times. - Morphy
"Nothing matters, but it’s perhaps more comfortable to keep calm and not interfere with other people." - H.P. Lovecraft, in a letter to Frank Belknap Long, 7 October, 1923
 
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Jabames
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Re: A Good Death
Reply #13 - Jun 27th, 2025 at 3:21am
 
May her memory be eternal, hmm for me I hope and pray for a death in my sleep or a super quick one. Anyways I will kee you and your family in my prayers.
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