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NooneOfConsequence

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Insults
Oct 24^th, 2021 at 10:42am

Let’s just skip the politics and go straight to your best ad hominem!

No curse words or sexually explicit phrases. Keep those insults clean-ish, and don’t direct them at a specific person.

I’d give you my best insult, but I’m not going to waste my time on a bunch of tree hating Nazi-sympathizing puppy kickers like you.

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“My final hour is at hand. We face an enemy more numerous and cunning than the world has yet seen. Remember your training, and do not fear the hordes of Judas. I, without sin, shall cast the first stone. That will be your sign to attack! But you shall not fight this unholy enemy with stones. No! RAZOR GLANDES! Aim for the eyes! May the Lord have mercy, for we shall show none!“ -Jesus the Noodler

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Hirtius Senior Member Offline Slinging Rocks! Posts: 272 Gender:	Re: Insults Reply #1 - Oct 24^th, 2021 at 10:51am Long ago I found on a random insult generator ‘sordid peanut’, it became an instant classic.
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Kick

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Re: Insults
Reply #2 - Oct 24^th, 2021 at 11:00am

You can tell he's an engineer wanting to streamline the forum content.

I think it has been copied, emulated, retold and reconfigured multiple times over the course of human history but
"I think very poorly of you."
"That's funny I don't think about you at all."
is so biting, cruel and dismissive whilst appearing completely innocuous. It's one of my favourites.

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« Last Edit: Oct 24^th, 2021 at 12:56pm by Kick »

You are a great guy Kick but also slightly scary at times. - Morphy
"Nothing matters, but it’s perhaps more comfortable to keep calm and not interfere with other people." - H.P. Lovecraft, in a letter to Frank Belknap Long, 7 October, 1923

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NooneOfConsequence

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Re: Insults
Reply #3 - Oct 24^th, 2021 at 11:10am

Kick wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 11:00am:

You can tell he's an engineer wanting to streamline the forum content.

I think it has been copied, emulated, retold and reconfigured multiple times over the course of human history but
"I think very poorly of you."
"That's funny I don't think about you at all."
is so biting, cruel and dismissive whilst appearing completely innocuous. It's one of my favourites.

My favorite variant of this is to call someone “padawan” when they think they’re saying something important. It doesn’t sound like an insult, but it’s very insulting when the person thinks they are already a Jedi 🤣

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« Last Edit: Oct 26^th, 2021 at 3:53pm by NooneOfConsequence »

“My final hour is at hand. We face an enemy more numerous and cunning than the world has yet seen. Remember your training, and do not fear the hordes of Judas. I, without sin, shall cast the first stone. That will be your sign to attack! But you shall not fight this unholy enemy with stones. No! RAZOR GLANDES! Aim for the eyes! May the Lord have mercy, for we shall show none!“ -Jesus the Noodler

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Morphy Slinging.org Moderator Offline Checkmate Posts: 8102	Re: Insults Reply #4 - Oct 24^th, 2021 at 11:43am Your mom.
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IronGoober Interfector Viris Spurii Offline ...and now, No. 1, the larch... Posts: 1688 California Gender:	Re: Insults Reply #5 - Oct 24^th, 2021 at 2:58pm Morphy wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 11:43am: Your mom. Best one. Can't top it. Can also be used in ANY situation. e.g. 1."Want some cheese?" 2." Your mom." Bam. Done.
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Morphy

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Checkmate

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Re: Insults
Reply #6 - Oct 24^th, 2021 at 4:25pm

IronGoober wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 2:58pm:

Morphy wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 11:43am:

Your mom.

Best one. Can't top it. Can also be used in ANY situation.
e.g.
1."Want some cheese?"
2." Your mom."

Bam. Done.

Or one thing I liked to do as a dumb teen was to add the phrase “last night” to whatever is being your mom’ed.

“Hey bro, you want some cheese?”

“Your mom wanted cheese last night!”

or

“We’’re calling about your cars extended warranty…”

“Your mom was calling about my warranty, last night.”

You see, it makes no sense at all but people will always add there own meaning. Cheesy

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joe_meadmaker Slinging.org Administrator Offline Slinging Ice is Cool! Posts: 3124 PA, USA	Re: Insults Reply #7 - Oct 24^th, 2021 at 9:19pm Morphy wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 4:25pm: “We’’re calling about your cars extended warranty…” “Your mom was calling about my warranty, last night.”
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IronGoober Interfector Viris Spurii Offline ...and now, No. 1, the larch... Posts: 1688 California Gender:	Re: Insults Reply #8 - Oct 24^th, 2021 at 9:41pm I'm not gonna lie, I was going to write "Your mom wanted cheese", but saying "Your mom wanted cheese last night" is so much more effective.
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TheMightyAslan Tiro Offline Slinging Rocks! Posts: 32 Manchester / Caernarfon UK Gender:	Re: Insults Reply #9 - Oct 25^th, 2021 at 5:40am my favourites are insults that may not be directly perceived as insults. "great job bro, you're really showing off that double digit IQ!" "WOW THANKS!"
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Kick

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Re: Insults
Reply #10 - Oct 25^th, 2021 at 8:44am

I once fell out with a friend for like 2 weeks because me and another friend turned everything he said into a "your mum" joke. I mean everything, whether it made grammatical or logical sense or not". "Hi guys what's happening?" "Your mum was happening last night!" "What lesson do we have after English?" (we were in school) "Your mum had a lesson after English!" "Have you seen the new Spider-Man film?" "Your mum has seen the new Spider-Man film last night!"

Drove him nuts. We thought it was hilarious until he got really pissed off at us. Got to be honest, kind of made it funnier.

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You are a great guy Kick but also slightly scary at times. - Morphy
"Nothing matters, but it’s perhaps more comfortable to keep calm and not interfere with other people." - H.P. Lovecraft, in a letter to Frank Belknap Long, 7 October, 1923

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Sir Missalot Descens Offline almost always miss, occasionally by a mile Posts: 179 Midlands, South Kakalaki Gender:	Re: Insults Reply #11 - Oct 25^th, 2021 at 10:28am Oh, I'm sorry, were you still talking? (Reserved for incessant yammerers who can't stop talking because they forgot their original thought)
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Sir Missalot Descens Offline almost always miss, occasionally by a mile Posts: 179 Midlands, South Kakalaki Gender:	Re: Insults Reply #12 - Oct 25^th, 2021 at 10:39am ... or just smiling and nodding, because the most meaningful insults are the ones one keeps to ones self.
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Rat Man

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Re: Insults
Reply #13 - Oct 26^th, 2021 at 8:05am

When I was in the army there was a custom where one would insult his best friends. The more you liked the person the worse the insults. I suppose the custom has been around as long as there were armies and they're probably still doing it today. After a while you were very good at it. It became an art form. The funniest part was watching a civilian like a girlfriend or wife who wasn't accustomed to it listening in. They would be horrified.

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NooneOfConsequence

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Re: Insults
Reply #14 - Oct 26^th, 2021 at 8:28am

Men say “I love you” by insulting each other. I like to point this out to other men, and then look them straight in the eye with a deadpan, say their name, followed by “I love you”.

Awkward 🐢

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“My final hour is at hand. We face an enemy more numerous and cunning than the world has yet seen. Remember your training, and do not fear the hordes of Judas. I, without sin, shall cast the first stone. That will be your sign to attack! But you shall not fight this unholy enemy with stones. No! RAZOR GLANDES! Aim for the eyes! May the Lord have mercy, for we shall show none!“ -Jesus the Noodler

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