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Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help. (Read 207 times)
xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Sep 26th, 2021 at 11:20am
 
Derbyshire police today took the unusual step of releasing a crime scene photograph to warn people of the dangers of slinging.

Apparently there had been an argument of some sort and the unfortunate victim was found, as seen, by a dog walker earlier today (Sunday 26th September 2021)

Police are treating this matter as under investigation and are appealing for witnesses, anyone who can identify the victim or anyone knowing the whereabouts of 2 as yet to be identified Americans.

Police are suggesting this is a one off incident and that beyond staying alert the public should go about their business as usual.

Any one with information should contact Chesterfield police station or the Crimestoppers number.
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #1 - Sep 26th, 2021 at 11:21am
 
Don't want to freak anyone out but I just picked this up.
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #2 - Sep 26th, 2021 at 11:25am
 
I thought long and hard but here is the picture
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #3 - Sep 26th, 2021 at 11:26am
 
Simple thing is, I know nothing but it's my home town. Any advice ?
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
BE SAFE,    BE SMILEY,   BE STRANGE
 
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Curious Aardvark
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #4 - Sep 26th, 2021 at 12:35pm
 
CASE CLOSED - OFFICIAL POLICE STATEMENT'


it appears that the 'victim' had been drinking alcohol and while under the influence, attempted to open a ketchup bottle, with a large knife and a sling.

This requiring one hand too many, the 'victim' apparently jerked the lid off the ketchup bottle, tripped over the sling, threw the knife into the air and fell flat on his face, becoming splattered with ketchup in the process.
The knife - luckily - landed next to him and embedded itself in the ground.

When found and out of embarassment he attempted to blame two 'passing americans for the crime'.

The 'victim' is well known to the local constabulary and because of this they did not believe a single word of his story and swiftly derived the correct solution !

We let him off with a caution and the advice that when ordering a late night kebab, always open your ketchup bottle BEFORE your kebab arrives.
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Do All things with Honour and Generosity: Regret Nothing, Envy None, Apologise Seldom and Bow your head to No One  - works for me Smiley
 
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #5 - Sep 26th, 2021 at 2:57pm
 
Now it's exactly this kind of fake stuff  that worries me ! 
The cork is in the bottle !
The ground is concrete !

And FFS, Who, I mean who has ketchup on a kebab. ? 

Clearly the idea of Derbyshire constabulary closing a case in a day is simply ludicrous.
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
BE SAFE,    BE SMILEY,   BE STRANGE
 
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Curious Aardvark
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #6 - Sep 26th, 2021 at 6:45pm
 
Closing a case at all would be a small miracle.

But this case was dealt with by the pcso's anyway, they're not real police and that's fine as it wasn't a real crime.

Who doesn't have ketchup on a kebab ?
It's kebab, the whole point of the sauces is to disguise the taste Smiley
I grew up with mayonnaise and gravy on chips.
Not together, I was in Germany not Canada whistle
Hell I even have ketchup on hotdogs.

As for the cork, well even drunks don't want to spill their drink.
When you've got a sling, ketchup bottle, knife and wine bottle, putting the cork back in just makes sense Smiley

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Do All things with Honour and Generosity: Regret Nothing, Envy None, Apologise Seldom and Bow your head to No One  - works for me Smiley
 
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #7 - Sep 27th, 2021 at 3:10am
 
Despite the misleading information from Mr. Aardvark,  the Derbyshire con stab ulary have now released pictures of the two Americans they wish to interview in connection with this Incident.
They have been identified by fingerprint evidence on the bottle and knife.

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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
BE SAFE,    BE SMILEY,   BE STRANGE
 
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #8 - Sep 27th, 2021 at 3:12am
 
Apparently these two men are known to be armed and dangerous
They should not be approached if seen and the police contacted urgentlee.
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
BE SAFE,    BE SMILEY,   BE STRANGE
 
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #9 - Sep 27th, 2021 at 3:14am
 
They use the street names meady and murfy.
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
BE SAFE,    BE SMILEY,   BE STRANGE
 
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #10 - Sep 27th, 2021 at 3:16am
 
And
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sVnGzOQ.jpg (9 KB | 5 )
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
BE SAFE,    BE SMILEY,   BE STRANGE
 
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #11 - Sep 27th, 2021 at 3:17am
 
Thanks guys

Smiley Smiley
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
BE SAFE,    BE SMILEY,   BE STRANGE
 
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JudoP
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #12 - Sep 27th, 2021 at 6:26am
 
Curious Aardvark wrote on Sep 26th, 2021 at 12:35pm:
The 'victim' is well known to the local constabulary


Now this I can believe!
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Morphy
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #13 - Sep 28th, 2021 at 2:41pm
 
This is how I know im slipping. I didnt wipe off the finger prints. Youll never get me coppers!
Grin

Damn I just want to point out the incredible self-control of the victim who has apparently saved that bottle of mead. I wouldve popped that thing open the night I got it
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"I think this guy is the king of trolls of the forum, he waited 16 years just to say this. please pay your respects in an orderly fashion."-Sarosh
 
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xud9a - call me zud 👍
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Re: Derbyshire Constabulary appeal for help.
Reply #14 - Sep 28th, 2021 at 3:52pm
 
AHH, Morphy, dear boy, the art of learning to delay gratification is a noble endeavour.
I could not drink the mead untill I had the means to release any frustrations with violence   Grin ;

Cheers

Zud      Smiley
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My outlook on life is Aristotalean; on seeing an Acorn I see a potential oak tree rather than Plato's view that it is a failed copy.
Look forward to meeting at Slingfest 2022.
BE SAFE,    BE SMILEY,   BE STRANGE
 
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