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Work moments you won't forget (Read 947 times)
Curious Aardvark
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #30 - Nov 27th, 2020 at 7:19am
 
Most of you know I build, fix and install computers for a living (we'll call it a 'living', despite my bank accounts opinion to the contrary).

So over the last 30 years I've worked in thousands of people's homes and seen a lot of stuff I wish I could forget.

Now one of the things I feel it's my responsibility to do is to check any computer I work on for the signs of paedophilia. If I don't - who can ?

Fortunately I have only ever found one and that actually had nothing to do with the owner. A virus was using a hidden area of the harddrive for storing web accessible files.
That was an interesting conversation. But not the subject of this tale Smiley

So it is my habit to look through any files or folders on a machine, particularly those that appear to have been 'hidden'.
You can't hide them from me Smiley

And over the years one of the things I have learnt is that I live in an area where there are a lot of 'swingers'.

Now lets be clear on this - 'swingers' are NEVER young or particularly attractive specimens of humanity.
NEVER.

One particularly memorable virus clean involved my looking at pictures of a middle aged couple engaged in vigorous sexual activities with a variety of different people, while simultaneously holding a conversation with the same couple who were sat on their sofa with a tv soap playing on the telly in the background.

It's also a job that tests your professional integrity.

A mate of mine has a sister.
I happen to know that she likes to engage in activities with one or more males while her husband takes photos of such activities. And yes Fire fighters really DO feature quite highly in this type of thing.

In that case I had to point out to the husband that his kids were getting to the age where they would be poking around on the computer and he really ought to offload his 'personal' pictures to a memory stick so the kids didn't find them.

They weren't really hidden.

Porn features a lot in my work.
There's the case where a couple had a computer absolutely riddled with viruses they'd picked up from porn sites.
And despite my beign able to pin down the exact date and time the sites had been visisted - both of them swore blind neither of them had done it.
In those situations you are left with having to say: 'well, whatever you did not do - don't do it again.'

Now I'm a mature adult and I really do not care what two - or more - consenting adults do together.
But you'd be surprised how many insist on lying to me - despite the fact that I can pinpoint exactly when they looked and at what they were looking.

On another occasion A friend of mine believed his son had been using the computer to look at porn.
By process of elimination and timing we actualy concluded that it had been his daughter NOT his son Smiley

Often it falls to me to point out the safest sites to look at pron to avoid picking up viruses.
I'm straight - but I've advised more than one person of the safest places to find gay porn.

And sometimes nobody uses the computer for looking at porn - but you don't remember those jobs so much. Smiley
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Do All things with Honour and Generosity: Regret Nothing, Envy None, Apologise Seldom and Bow your head to No One  - works for me Smiley
 
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Morphy
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #31 - Nov 27th, 2020 at 8:22am
 
I imagine talking to a nice sweet mature couple after you've seen them do the most hardcore sex acts imaginable is quite an interesting experience.

Speaking of weird sex acts I once had a patient that was having special fun time with his significant other and ended up with a plastic fishing worm in his bladder. I'll just let you all fill in the dots on that one. No need to thank me. You are all most welcome.
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #32 - Nov 27th, 2020 at 10:03am
 
^^ Grin Grin Grin Grin Shocked Shocked  Huh Roll Eyes ewww
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #33 - Nov 27th, 2020 at 11:06pm
 
Remind me to never start a highly lucrative and personally rewarding computer repair business. On the plus side, I’d imagine your sanitary protocols didn’t need to change much after COVID, because you already had to assume all sorts of stuff had been in contact with those computers. I’ll second vet... eeeeeeewwwwwwww!
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“My final hour is at hand. We face an enemy more numerous and cunning than the world has yet seen. Remember your training, and do not fear the hordes of Judas. I, without sin, shall cast the first stone. That will be your sign to attack! But you shall not fight this unholy enemy with stones. No! RAZOR GLANDES!  Aim for the eyes! May the Lord have mercy, for we shall show none!“  -Jesus the Noodler
 
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #34 - Nov 28th, 2020 at 6:59pm
 
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« Last Edit: Jan 23rd, 2021 at 7:37am by a »  
 
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Morphy
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #35 - Dec 9th, 2020 at 4:52pm
 
Once back when I was working non-emergency transfer shifts my partner and I were just getting on at the beginning of our 48 shift and we had a patient with a reasonably long transport ahead. The patient was pleasant and courteous and for an older gentleman quite sharp. Or so I thought.

The patient asked if we had a long transport ahead. I said, yes a fairly good one. He asked if he could use the restroom before leaving. I said sure as usually this is the type of thing I would suggest anyways. The rear doors were still open to the outside and I went around to help him down since he was near them anyways.

He promptly stood up, unzipped his pants and urinated all over the ambulance. Putting aside the “When you got to go you got to go” jokes, this was a newly cleaned ambulance ready for a long shift. Piss...just piss as far as the eye can see.

I was driving and my partner was the attending medic. (Woo hoo) So...needless to say he was not thrilled about that.

Just to be clear this is the most desirable of the bodily fluids one might have spread all over your ambulance. You probably thought this was a glass half empty kind of story. No, I can assure you, for me this was a win.
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #36 - Dec 10th, 2020 at 2:57am
 
Is amazing sometimes how long you can be talking to someone before realising they have super bad dementia. It's easier for me to notice because I'm in a closed ward so when someone comes up and asks if I can phone their daughter to come and pick them up because they need to go into the centre and catch a train to visit their mother, I already know there's something not quite right before they mention their long dead mother.

I once had one woman, who was also blind, get very angry at me because I wouldn't tell her where her purse was.  She needed it because she was going to the bank to get a loan to buy a summer cottage. The human mind is an amazing thing even when it goes wrong.
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You are a great guy Kick but also slightly scary at times. - Morphy
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #37 - Dec 10th, 2020 at 11:49am
 
Kick wrote on Dec 10th, 2020 at 2:57am:
Is amazing sometimes how long you can be talking to someone before realising they have super bad dementia. It's easier for me to notice because I'm in a closed ward so when someone comes up and asks if I can phone their daughter to come and pick them up because they need to go into the centre and catch a train to visit their mother, I already know there's something not quite right before they mention their long dead mother.

I once had one woman, who was also blind, get very angry at me because I wouldn't tell her where her purse was.  She needed it because she was going to the bank to get a loan to buy a summer cottage. The human mind is an amazing thing even when it goes wrong.


It's funny you ended it that way because that was my exact thought. The mind is so odd. I was wondering if it's pleasant being stuck in a good past memory for the rest of your life. Seems almost ideal if you have to have dementia.
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"I think this guy is the king of trolls of the forum, he waited 16 years just to say this. please pay your respects in an orderly fashion."-Sarosh
 
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #38 - Dec 13th, 2020 at 7:06am
 
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« Last Edit: Jan 23rd, 2021 at 7:37am by a »  
 
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #39 - Dec 13th, 2020 at 11:25am
 
a wrote on Dec 13th, 2020 at 7:06am:
Morphy wrote on Dec 12th, 2020 at 9:03am:
What a weird time to be alive.

Yeah, glad we have no gun problems here. Plenty of senseless killings with machetes and stones but at least you have a chance against those.


Very true. I'm not thrilled getting shot at. Machetes are no joke though.
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"I think this guy is the king of trolls of the forum, he waited 16 years just to say this. please pay your respects in an orderly fashion."-Sarosh
 
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #40 - Dec 13th, 2020 at 1:25pm
 
Hey I can add to the work moments I won't forget and add to this conversation! I was on placement during my studies on a surgical ward and we had a patient that had been attacked by 3 or 4 people. He had been stabbed numerous times and (I still can't believe this happened to this poor guy) he got hit in the knee with an axe. An axe! In Helsinki! Right in the centre! Why was anyone carrying an axe around? Was this a planned attack? An attempted hit? Well...

The patient was walking through a park right in the centre of Helsinki and a guy asked him for a cigarette. He didn't have any so kept walking. The guy that asked came back with some friends... and an axe. Messed up. Seriously messed up. Apparently there was also a racial aspect to the attack just to really endear you that bit more to the attackers...
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You are a great guy Kick but also slightly scary at times. - Morphy
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #41 - Dec 13th, 2020 at 3:03pm
 
Ya just the thought of an axe to the knee cap makes me cringe. Racism is silly. I can't imagine going through life like that. I have very, very rarely hated people. Maybe twice in my life. Neither was non-white but my point is it's exhausting. Screw that. I couldn't live like that. Except for you Matt. I still want to drop a gator in your cubicle because f$&@ that guy.
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #42 - Dec 14th, 2020 at 12:20am
 
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« Last Edit: Jan 23rd, 2021 at 7:37am by a »  
 
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Re: Work moments you won't forget
Reply #43 - Dec 14th, 2020 at 9:05am
 
a wrote on Dec 14th, 2020 at 12:20am:
Morphy wrote on Dec 13th, 2020 at 3:03pm:
Neither was non-white but my point is it's exhausting.

It's not worth the effort in my opinion. Hate leads to frustration which in turn leads to all sorts of nastiness none of which is beneficial to your journey through life.

Having said that, I pay all my debts good or bad with interest eventually. Time and distance may separate a man from his good deeds or misdeeds, but they weren't forgotten and will be repaid when circumstances permit.


I agree. Hate is a non-starter. It serves no one and nothing. Also a horrible way to live.
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"I think this guy is the king of trolls of the forum, he waited 16 years just to say this. please pay your respects in an orderly fashion."-Sarosh
 
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