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You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When... (Read 2207 times)

Kjev

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You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When...
Dec 23^rd, 2010 at 6:27am

You know you're a Caveman at Christmas when...

You get told you'll get nothing but rocks and coal if you don't straighten up, and you're excited by the idea.
A trip to Lowe's for Outside Decorations leaves you wondering if the life-size reindeer would make good atlatl/archery targets.
You have the driving urge to see of the inflatable Santa and Snowman yard decorations could be taken out with a sling.
While others are making snow men, you are making ice glue and sling ammunition.
You want to burn the yule log by starting the fire with a bow drill.
You would rather split the yule log into smaller pieces and carve atlatls and bows from them.
A gift certificate to the local scrapyard is your favorite present.
Everyone else wants to sit around the fire sipping hot cocoa and you want to try fire-hardening spear points.
You insist on putting snowmen on your child's sled and using them as moving targets.
You come in the house cussing because your clay is frozen and you have to thaw it to make glandes.
It snows a lot and you hope the mammoths return.
You practice your hunting and tracking skills in the snow, and the quarry is your wife's Pomeranian.
Your children are being monsters and you tell them you'll take out the Reindeer on Christmas Eve when Santa is three houses away.
You see the cold weather as a great time to try out the fur-lined moccasins you made last summer.
You buy your first home. Your grandparents offer to buy a tree for your yard. Your choice for a tree depends on whether the wood is good for atlatls or not.

So, what ones can you come up with?

K'Jev

"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter"--Yoda

https://www.facebook.com/StormsForge

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Dan Interfector Viris Spurii SlingingGuide Moderator Offline Slinging Rocks! Posts: 3974 Gender:	Re: You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When... Reply #1 - Dec 23^rd, 2010 at 8:14am When you are happier getting a bag of round rocks than you are getting an I pod
Back to top	I was pretty good at slinging like 10 years ago. IP Logged

Paleoarts Interfector Viris Spurii Offline it don't mean a thing if you aint got that sling! Posts: 1993 oceanside, CA Gender:	Re: You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When... Reply #2 - Dec 23^rd, 2010 at 12:34pm your stocking is made of brain-tanned buckskin
Back to top	visit me at www.paleoarts.net and my new gallery at www.flintknappers.com IP Logged

slingbadger Interfector Viris Spurii Offline Don't Badger a Badger Posts: 3235 Akron NY Gender:	Re: You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When... Reply #3 - Dec 25^th, 2010 at 6:34am when getting coal for Christmas means you've been good.
Back to top	The greatest of all the accomplishments of 20th cent. science has been the discovery of human ignorance The main difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits.-Einstein I'm getting psychic as I get older. Or is that psychotic? IP Logged

HurlinThom Interfector Viris Spurii Offline Leverage artillerist Posts: 1458	Re: You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When... Reply #4 - Dec 25^th, 2010 at 1:02pm When the wolf at your door just wants to come in and lie by the fire.
Back to top	When all is said and done more will have been said than done. IP Logged

Red Squirrel Descens Offline A.K.A BritishandProud Posts: 110 U.K/G.B Gender:	Re: You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When... Reply #5 - Dec 26^th, 2010 at 2:31am When you treat Carol singers to something close to the Mauri greeting ceremony, complete with spears and war paint, when they knock on your door 
Back to top	"To be. or not to be- that is the question:&& Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer&& The slings and arrows of outrageous&&fortune&& Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,&& And by opposing end them?"&& Hamlet 3i, Shakespeare&&&& Lux et Umbra Vicissim sed Semper Amor&&&&"...Work is the scourge of the drinking classes..." Oscar Wilde IP Logged

Bill Skinner Forum Moderation Offline Slinging Rocks! Posts: 3292	Re: You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When... Reply #6 - Dec 26^th, 2010 at 10:17pm When you get a post card of some scenic partially snow coverd mountain in the background with a brook running from it, you look at it and say "Look at all these perfect slinging rocks!" Bill
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Rat Man

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Re: You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When...
Reply #7 - Dec 27^th, 2010 at 11:36am

On Christmas Eve you sit on the livingroom sofa with your nephews' other crazy uncle, with shotguns and in full hunting gear, and you tell the little guys Christmas dinner will be venison. (true story, with a similar tale about hossenfeffer on Easter Eve) Though this may sound like evil child abuse, now that they're grown the nieces and nephews look back on these demented holiday stories as some of their fondest memories, believe it or not. We're a strange family.

« Last Edit: Dec 29^th, 2010 at 4:02pm by Rat Man »

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Bill Skinner Forum Moderation Offline Slinging Rocks! Posts: 3292	Re: You know You're A Caveman at Christmas When... Reply #8 - Dec 28^th, 2010 at 8:20pm I thought everybody went deer hunting on Christmas day. You got to try out the new shotgun, new hunting clothes, boots, ect. Bill
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