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Message started by Rat Man on Oct 1st, 2022 at 9:45am

Title: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Rat Man on Oct 1st, 2022 at 9:45am
† † Though it's been done before here it's been a while so here's IronGoober's suggestion; a thread about truly awful movies.†
† † I'll start the ball rolling.† This could be the worst movie I ever saw:† Exorcist II The Heretic.† It's a 1977 sequel to one of the best horror movies of all time, the original Exorcist.† I watched it once and was stunned at how bad it is.† A few years later I was thinking to myself "No movie could possibly be as bad as I remember this one to be.† I must be mistaken."† So I watched it again.† It was even worse the second time.† There is nothing redeeming about this movie whatsoever.† It is a true piece of poopy.† I hate it.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076009/

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Rat Man on Oct 4th, 2022 at 1:31pm
† † Many moons ago I went on a double date with my beautiful, sexy girlfriend Elaine Lucas, her friend Judy Kerr of the infamous Kerr sisters, and Judy's boyfriend.† I forget his name.† We went to see Murder on the Orient Express.† It was highly rated so I expected to enjoy it.†
† † We got our sodas, popcorn, Goobers, and whatever else and settled in to watch a good movie.† There were people on a train and not much was happening.† The train rolled along.† About a half hour later I nodded off.† I woke up and quickly checked to see if anyone had noticed.† No one had.† I certainly didn't want to ruin the movie for the rest of the group.† The people on the train still weren't doing much.† The train rolled along.
† † Damned! I fell asleep again.† Once again no one in my group had noticed.† I really didn't want to ruin the movie for anyone else.† I absolutely wasn't going to fall asleep again no matter what. The people on the train still weren't doing much and the train rolled along.†
† †† Despite my best efforts to avoid it I fell asleep for the third time.† And for the third time I looked over to see if any of my group had noticed. All three of them were sound asleep too.† "Wake up, everyone.† Time to find something else to do."† †
† † The four of us walked out on Murder on the Orient Express.† It is a highly regarded movie.† I don't understand why.† It's a great cure for insomnia.† That's about it.† It's possibly the second worst movie I ever tried to suffer through.†
† ††

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Gaius Marcellus Nerva on Oct 4th, 2022 at 1:39pm
I think that all of the horrible movies that Iíve seen, I have forgotten ::)

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Slyngorm on Oct 4th, 2022 at 3:48pm
Sanctum

Know when you were a little kid, and you didn't exactly have the best sense of quality?
You could watch terrible movies and not really understand that what you were watching was bad? Like, really bad? Terrible acting, writing and everything?

Welcome to Sanctum, by Alister Grierson
From 2011, this movie follows a group of cave explorers/divers who come in big trouble as their spelunking ventures are turned up to ninety when a local south american hurricane drops a fair share of water in their immediate vicinity. 

This kicks in a plot involving characters dying due to falling to their death. Dying, voluntarily, by the hands of their mates. Dying because they decide to stay behind. And of course, what movie about cave diving would be complete without characters dying, voluntarily, by the hands of a family member? The trailer is pretty cool to look at too.

Either by the grace of its quality, or a sudden bout of maturation, I, during multiple scenes, when encountering bad writing, bad acting and bad cinematography, found myself think something along a line of "oh, so that is bad film making, huh? never realized that before"

Which is something I must really give this movie. At that age, very few things ever made me snap to a sudden realization like that. SO thanks, Sanctum, you made think something I never had before.


James Cameron is also executive producer.

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Curious Aardvark on Oct 4th, 2022 at 5:45pm
The all time worst film I've ever seen is quentin tarentinos 'hero'

My mate and I had free tickets to a screening.
And we both believe we were robbed of three hours of our life we will never get back

QT has made a single decent film, the one with le big Mac.
Everything else has been different types of bad, with the exception of the second half of dawn to dusk.
That was a decent hour of film.

But where he performs extreme blasphemy, is when he goes anywhere near martial arts films.

Hero is the worst martial arts film ever made, ever.

He took some if the best martial arts practitoners in the world and managed to make every thing they did both tedious and boring and tiresome.

For that alone he should burn forever in the lowest circle of hell.
(Effluent flows downhill, which is why the lower circles are the worst)

For the kill Bill films he deserves to contract syphilis and have bits of his anatomy drop off.
But bad as they were, hero is infinitely worse.

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by IronGoober on Oct 5th, 2022 at 12:00pm
Hero wasn't a Tarantino film, he just helped get it released in countries outside China.

I disagree about Hero, the cinematography is absolutely beautiful. The story is odd, but if you watch it a few times, it becomes better. Its actually one of my favorite martial arts films. To each their own :)

But I agree that Tarantino has made some total stinkers. I generally don't like his films.

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Morphy on Oct 5th, 2022 at 8:39pm
Totally agree about Tarantino and the two movies of his some what worth watching. He is possibly the most overrated director of all time imo.

Could not agree less about Hero. I agree with IG. Cinematography was excellent. Changing the filters and colors on each retelling of the story was a fantastic idea. Was it overdramatic at times in it's drawn out scenes? Of course, its basically a super hero ninja movie made by the Chinese, that comes with the territory. However the drama never pulled me out of the movie. Rather it helped me want to see it more from the view of someone famaliar with the culture.

Bad movies though I would say any unasked for remake or reboot. Like every terminator film since the second.






Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Curious Aardvark on Oct 9th, 2022 at 7:41am
I'm into martial arts and Chinese films, history and culture. My mate isn't.
.but we both regret seeing hero.

It was three hours, a long time back, all that remains is the lingering feeling that, even with free tickets, we were robbed !
Some if it was completely stupid, most of it was just brain numbingly tedious.
No real details remain lol.
Some things are so awful your brain just blanks them out.

Guess I have to apologise to Quentin lol
But he's more than made up for it :-)

Pulp fiction ! That was good.
Never understood the appeal of the film with people with colourful names.
I don't think I've ever managed to sit through the whole thing.

Other horrible films.
The three recent hobbit films.
Just awful
They took a perfect book that would have made 2 superb films and added a bunch of crap that made no sense and just ruined the entire narrative flow.

Which us weird as with tlotr films he removed all the pointless padding and stuck rigidly to the plot.
What do we want ? ' NO SODDING ELVES !'
When do we want it ? 'ALWAYS !'

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by IronGoober on Oct 10th, 2022 at 2:34am
I can agree on the last bit. lol.

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Curious Aardvark on Oct 10th, 2022 at 5:42am
lol
I don't often get apoplectic when watching tv.
But the first hobbit film ha dme shouting at the screen lol
A bloody wizard in a sled pulled by rabbits !
It's middle earth not narnia !

Needledd to say I have not bothered watching the other 2.

On the whole I actually like 'bad' movies.

I genuinly prefer he original godzilla movies to all the cgi spectaculer modern remakes.

There's just something about a guy in a dinisaur suit with wobbly eyes, stamping a model tokyo that really appeals to me.

And for the most part I usually like films the critics tend to slate.
Hudson hawk - fantastic film.
Evolution, a freaking masterpiece.
The first judge dredd film - loved it.
The second drdd film - basically a man on a boke attacking a block of flats that in noway came from te big meg - just not a 200ad film in any way shape or form.

So for the most part I tend to like a lot more 'bad' films than I dislike :-) 

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by JudoP on Oct 11th, 2022 at 8:06am
I really enjoyed the second Dredd, there's a lot more they could do in that universe if it ever gets a sequel. It's a good example of keeping things simple but executing well. I kinda get what you say about it not being 2000AD style though, I suppose it can be hard to translate onto screen so they went with ultra gritty/realistic rather than a more weird and characterful version. I kinda enjoyed the first Dredd too in a b-movie kind of way. I can't get over how atrocious Stallone's "I AM THE LAW" pronunciation was though and I found the film fairly generic to fantasy/scifi of the time.†

100% agree on the hobbit films. Shameful follow on to the masterpieces of LOTR.

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Morphy on Oct 13th, 2022 at 7:43am
The Hobbit films were definitely a let down. They did the opposite of what LOTR did. LOTR condensed down just the pertinent parts of the books so there was no room for anything else. The Hobbit expanded because there wasnt enough source material to make 3 good movies. Its pretty obvious it didnt work.

As for Hero being tedious I can understand where you are coming from in the sense that many such films tend to take themselves really seriously. Overly so at times even to the point where it can almost be comical. For me I have a soft spot for any Jet Li movie and loved the cinematography but Ive felt that way for other martial arts movies.

Im surprised no one has mentioned the 4th Indiana Jones. That was just...terrible lol.

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by joe_meadmaker on Oct 13th, 2022 at 8:10pm

Morphy wrote on Oct 13th, 2022 at 7:43am:
Im surprised no one has mentioned the 4th Indiana Jones.

I'm not sure what you mean.† There's only 3 Indiana Jones movies.† ;)


On Tarantino, I get the dislike.† I think his stuff is definitely a 'like it' or 'hate it' kind of thing.† I do like his films for the most part.† Pulp Fiction, definitely awesome.† I also like Reservoir Dogs, Django Unchained, Death Proof, and others.† But like I said, I 100% agree that he's not everyone's cup of tea.

And yeah, the Hobbit movies suck.† The biggest problem they ran into was they didn't have one guy with one vision manning the reins for the whole thing.† There's was Guillermo del Toro doing things his way for a couple years, then Peter Jackson coming in and doing everything completely different.† With LOTR there was more than a year of just creating props, scenery, story, etc. that were going to be used.† And that was before any cameras were rolling.† With the Hobbit there were tons of last minute rewrites and literal filming on sets that were painted the night before and weren't dry yet.† I think the Hobbit films would have been much better if (when Jackson took over) they pushed everything back a year to give him time to do what we know he's capable of doing.


And to add another one to the list, Star Wars: The Force Awakens isn't worth the time to watch it.  I liked The Last Jedi better in some ways, but it's still not  good.  I've never even watched Episode 9.

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Rat Man on Oct 14th, 2022 at 8:13am
   I thought the first Star Wars was a masterpiece.  Honestly I could live without any of the sequels. 

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Curious Aardvark on Oct 17th, 2022 at 6:37am
Well I've watched the 8th and 9th star wars films in the last week.

And yes, they were truly awful

Let's put it this way, the 9th film opens with the news that emperor palpitane, yes the same one Darth Vader threw into a nuclear reactor core and who blew up, is not only alive and well, but has been building a massive mega fleet in a secret base ever since he died
.
And we're not talking yoda 'alive' We're talking proper alive in his original body.
Couple that with the truly awful cGI version of carrie fisher, who was actually dead at the time of filming, and you get the idea of just how ridiculous the whole thing is.

And frankly it just goes downhill from there
I actually wimped out and just couldn't be arsed to watch the last 10 minutes.
I'm guessing Rey, sat on the sith throne(oh yeah she's the emperor's granddaughter) and took control of the fleet and everybody lived happily ever after.

But honestly, you stop caring long before that point.

I really liked episode 1.
Jar jar bunks and all.
The aliens were great, the robots were amazing, it made sense and it was proper space opera.



Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Curious Aardvark on Oct 17th, 2022 at 8:12am
watched the latest thor film recently.
It's not exactly horrible.
But man is it 'bitty'.

It's quite clearly a 3 hour film that's been really badly edited down to 2 hours.

Similiar to the original 'Justice League' cinema release.
Never could stay awake through the whole film.
But just to see the difference I watched the zack snyder edit.
Didn't nod off even once.
Turned it into a really good film.
Quite weird just how different the two watching experiences were.

So I'm hoping the extended directors cut of thor love and thunder, will include all the stuff that was clearly left out of the cinema release.
Like: all the scenes of the gods being killed by the necro sword, the scene when jane becomes thor, more of the stuff with thor and the guardians of the galaxy.
It's like laminate with all the glue removed.
They need to put the glue back :-)

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Rat Man on Oct 26th, 2022 at 12:21pm
The Fifth Wave with Chloe Grace Moretz.  It seemed like it might be a good movie and Chloe Grace Moretz can be a pretty good actress so I gave it a shot.  It actually started out fairly interesting but as it progressed the plot became a typical horseshit romantic Hollywood farce.  I stayed with it up until the point where the alien boy told Chloe that he didn't kill her because he had fallen in love with her.  What the hell was I watching?  I highly unrecommend this movie.  It's just good enough to suck you in initially but progressively becomes a total waste of time.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2304933/

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Morphy on Oct 27th, 2022 at 1:14pm

Rat Man wrote on Oct 26th, 2022 at 12:21pm:
The Fifth Wave with Chloe Grace Moretz.† It seemed like it might be a good movie and Chloe Grace Moretz can be a pretty good actress so I gave it a shot.† It actually started out fairly interesting but as it progressed the plot became a typical horseshit romantic Hollywood farce.† I stayed with it up until the point where the alien boy told Chloe that he didn't kill her because he had fallen in love with her.† What the hell was I watching?† I highly unrecommend this movie.† It's just good enough to suck you in initially but progressively becomes a total waste of time.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2304933/


Oh yeah. 100% agree. Aliens who have mastered interstellar travel brought down by teenage puppy love. Never has ritual suicide looked so inviting.

You know what, I take that back. Has anyone here seen The Happening? Seriously, 10 minutes in and I start bursting out laughing. "Oh! This is satire! I didnt know M. Night Shamylan did satirical films!" Then 15 minutes in and it dawns on me it's meant to be serious. The world was a little darker...a little more cold during those two hours. I knew it would end. I mean it had to end eventually but at that moment I couldnt feel it. All was lost.

How in the hell did Mark Wahlberg go along with it? Hes usually a pretty decent actor.  ;D

Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Curious Aardvark on Oct 28th, 2022 at 7:07am
The last james bond film.

Just bloody awful
No gadgets, no real plot to speak of, no decent stunts and at least an hour too long.

I realise the next actor to play 'james' will most likely be a blind, one legged transgender  person of colour

But honestly, you can only go up from here.


Title: Re: Really Horrible Movies
Post by Slyngorm on Oct 29th, 2022 at 4:45pm
Halloween Ends

The latest movie in the new reboot/sequel series to halloween.
Me and my slasher movie fan friend have been watching them when they were released in theatres for the past 3 years. Hated every single one. And with the last one, he has finally agreed with me. Terrible, boring, weird movie.

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