Let’s just skip the politics and go straight to your best ad hominem!

No curse words or sexually explicit phrases.  Keep those insults clean-ish, and don’t direct them at a specific person.

I’d give you my best insult, but I’m not going to waste my time on a bunch of tree hating Nazi-sympathizing puppy kickers like you.

Long ago I found on a random insult generator ‘sordid peanut’, it became an instant classic.

You can tell he's an engineer wanting to streamline the forum content.

I think it has been copied, emulated, retold and reconfigured multiple times over the course of human history but
"I think very poorly of you."
"That's funny I don't think about you at all."
is so biting, cruel and dismissive whilst appearing completely innocuous. It's one of my favourites.

Kick wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 11:00am:

You can tell he's an engineer wanting to streamline the forum content. I think it has been copied, emulated, retold and reconfigured multiple times over the course of human history but "I think very poorly of you." "That's funny I don't think about you at all." is so biting, cruel and dismissive whilst appearing completely innocuous. It's one of my favourites.

My favorite variant of this is to call someone “padawan” when they think they’re saying something important. It doesn’t sound like an insult, but it’s very insulting when the person thinks they are already a Jedi 🤣

Your mom.  :thumb:

Morphy wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 11:43am:

Your mom.  :thumb:

Best one. Can't top it. Can also be used in ANY situation. 
e.g.
1."Want some cheese?"
2." Your mom."

Bam. Done.

IronGoober wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 2:58pm:

Morphy wrote on Oct 24th, 2021 at 11:43am: Your mom.  :thumb: Best one. Can't top it. Can also be used in ANY situation.  e.g. 1."Want some cheese?" 2." Your mom." Bam. Done.

Or one thing I liked to do as a dumb teen was to add the phrase “last night” to whatever is being your mom’ed.

“Hey bro, you want some cheese?”

“Your mom wanted cheese last night!”

or

“We’’re calling about your cars extended warranty…”

“Your mom was calling about my warranty, last night.”

You see, it makes no sense at all but people will always add there own meaning.  :D

Morphy wrote on Oct 24^th, 2021 at 4:25pm:

“We’’re calling about your cars extended warranty…” “Your mom was calling about my warranty, last night.”

;D

I'm not gonna lie, I was going to write "Your mom wanted cheese", but saying "Your mom wanted cheese last night" is so much more effective.

my favourites are insults that may not be directly perceived as insults.

"great job bro, you're really showing off that double digit IQ!"

"WOW THANKS!"

I once fell out with a friend for like 2 weeks because me and another friend turned everything he said into a "your mum" joke. I mean everything, whether it made grammatical or logical sense or not". "Hi guys what's happening?" "Your mum was happening last night!" "What lesson do we have after English?" (we were in school) "Your mum had a lesson after English!" "Have you seen the new Spider-Man film?" "Your mum has seen the new Spider-Man film last night!"

Drove him nuts. We thought it was hilarious until he got really pissed off at us. Got to be honest, kind of made it funnier.

Oh, I'm sorry, were you still talking?  (Reserved for incessant yammerers who can't stop talking because they forgot their original thought)

... or just smiling and nodding, because the most meaningful insults are the ones one keeps to ones self.  ;)

   When I was in the army there was a custom where one would insult his best friends.  The more you liked the person the worse the insults.  I suppose the custom has been around as long as there were armies and they're probably still doing it today.  After a while you were very good at it. It became an art form.  The funniest part was watching a civilian like a girlfriend or wife who wasn't accustomed to it listening in.  They would be horrified. 

Men say “I love you” by insulting each other. I like to point this out to other men, and then look them straight in the eye with a deadpan, say their name, followed by “I love you”.

Awkward 🐢

NooneOfConsequence wrote on Oct 26^th, 2021 at 8:28am:

Men say “I love you” by insulting each other. I like to point this out to other men, and then look them straight in the eye with a deadpan, say their name, followed by “I love you”. Awkward 🐢

This is a step up from a fish. Not a huge step but its progress.

Morphy wrote on Oct 26^th, 2021 at 10:01am:

NooneOfConsequence wrote on Oct 26th, 2021 at 8:28am: Men say “I love you” by insulting each other. I like to point this out to other men, and then look them straight in the eye with a deadpan, say their name, followed by “I love you”. Awkward 🐢 This is a step up from a fish. Not a huge step but its progress.

Fish slap… classic!

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the armpit of those you love.

xud9a - call me zud 👍 wrote on Oct 26^th, 2021 at 12:09pm:

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the armpit of those you love.

Oh… we’re moving into curses now. I like it!

   When you were born they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth.

A multi gender interchangeable curse:
May your testicles/breasts (use as appropriate) turn to concrete, drop off and break both your ankles.

You're a nothing,you where born a nothing,and when you die only your fleas will mourn you.

The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God

Rat Man wrote on Oct 26^th, 2021 at 3:39pm:

When you were born they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth.

Couldn’t that just be simplified to “You were aborted”?
(Not trying to start an argument)

You never saw Jack coming, because you got struck by Lightning. ;D

wrote on Oct 28^th, 2021 at 5:17pm:

Rat Man wrote on Oct 26th, 2021 at 3:39pm:    When you were born they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth. Couldn’t that just be simplified to “You were aborted”? (Not trying to start an argument)

Dude… you just took a fun thread and killed it. That was neither funny nor an insult… but you just sucked the fun right out of it.

AncientCraftwork wrote on Oct 28^th, 2021 at 1:34pm:

The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God

I don’t think you understood the assignment J. Is that an insult? It just looks like a saying from the Bible.

NooneOfConsequence wrote on Oct 28^th, 2021 at 9:11pm:

wrote on Oct 28th, 2021 at 5:17pm: Rat Man wrote on Oct 26th, 2021 at 3:39pm:    When you were born they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth. Couldn’t that just be simplified to “You were aborted”? (Not trying to start an argument) Dude… you just took a fun thread and killed it. That was neither funny nor an insult… but you just sucked the fun right out of it.

I was merely pointing out how stupid of an insult that is. I don’t understand why someone would waste their time making up insults that don’t make any sense anyway (and that’s true for most everyone not just Ratman).

NooneOfConsequence wrote on Oct 28^th, 2021 at 9:11pm:

Dude… you just took a fun thread and killed it. That was neither funny nor an insult… but you just sucked the fun right out of it.

Yeah, that’s not the first time.

NooneOfConsequence wrote on Oct 28^th, 2021 at 9:13pm:

AncientCraftwork wrote on Oct 28th, 2021 at 1:34pm: The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God I don’t think you understood the assignment J. Is that an insult? It just looks like a saying from the Bible.

It is not “just a saying” it is from Psalm 14:1
 
    “The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, There is none that doeth good.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭14:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

wrote on Oct 28^th, 2021 at 10:10pm:

I was merely pointing out how stupid of an insult that is. I don’t understand why someone would waste their time making up insults that don’t make any sense anyway (and that’s true for most everyone not just Ratman).

I agree it’s a bit crude and not a good insult (sorry Ratman), but I think you kind of are missing the point. Ratman was trying to say “you’re worthless” in a creative way. Coming up with insults is fun, you’re trying to be creative or witty.

Yup.  We’ve gone from insults to “explaining”. I declare this thread dead.

Well maybe we should be using this creativeness for something more positive or maybe slinging instead of these insults. Over the last month I’ve noticed that more people have been posting in the off topics board instead of the slinging board. I think that we should try to actually talk about slinging and take a break from the off topics board for awhile. I think the off topics board needs some cool down time.

wrote on Oct 28^th, 2021 at 10:51pm:

Well maybe we should be using this creativeness for something more positive or maybe slinging instead of these insults. Over the last month I’ve noticed that more people have been posting in the off topics board instead of the slinging board. I think that we should try to actually talk about slinging and take a break from the off topics board for awhile. I think the off topics board needs some cool down time.

---

wrote on Oct 28^th, 2021 at 10:51pm:

Well maybe we should be using this creativeness for something more positive or maybe slinging instead of these insults. Over the last month I’ve noticed that more people have been posting in the off topics board instead of the slinging board. I think that we should try to actually talk about slinging and take a break from the off topics board for awhile. I think the off topics board needs some cool down time.

That’s fair, but you’re posting in here too. And aren’t witty phrases and insults a part of slinging? The ancients put such things on their bullets, they obviously got a kick out of it.

Obviously the off topics area has gotten a bit congested and tense. Hell, I’ve contributed to it. But I will point out that you have derailed two threads that were meant to bring a lighthearted discussion to ease tensions in off topic.


Sorry about your thread NOOC, you hot dog loving trash slinger.

Edit: Aw, we replaced the swear words. That’s awful, my last insult had a good pun (or double entendre?). Oh well, I improvised.

You’re nothing but a zig-zag interlocked double loop dogshank!

<noodle!>

To the pain


https://youtu.be/I_keWS1i3RA

Sir Missalot wrote on Oct 29^th, 2021 at 6:47am:

You’re nothing but a zig-zag interlocked double loop dogshank! <noodle!>

Yes!  Sir Missalot understood the assignment 😆

Perhaps the thread could still cone back from the dead. A zombie insult thread works for me!


Morphy wrote on Oct 29^th, 2021 at 6:52am:

To the pain https://youtu.be/I_keWS1i3RA

Morphy… I love you.

Oh boy, it was a long time since I was trying to be insulting, I now have kids, I must take care of my language...

Do you take also international or are those puddles on the floor your brains already leaking when trying to understand your own language ?

Bande d'abrutis de yacks confits à la graisse de scolopendres dégénérés, rebuts rétrogrades de fistules purulentes, raclures de pustules irrémédiablement moisies...

That's all for now, it should took you all long enough to understand those !






This whole post is purposely insultiv only to put the topic back on tracks, I usually think that, even though most of y'all are native english speaker you all have at least 2 connecting brain cells between all of you... OOps, I did it again !

The other day I was at a persons home for a possible seizure and I asked the lady who witnessed it if she was the patient's mother. Whoops. That was dumb. She was his wife.

Then I asked when she was expecting. Whoops again. Ok, the second part didnt happen but wouldve been pretty funny in a horrible way. The first part did and I felt pretty stupid.

I do tech support...

You have a critical malfunction in the primary organic information processing unit located between the keyboard and the chair.

She's pathologically incapable of following the simplest of instructions.

You seem to have gotten an ID ten T error.
(write it down and look at it)

She's the reason they make decaf.

The company has a 2 drink at lunch maximum policy.  Technically, a pitcher of Long Island iced tea is just one drink. (5 shots of liquor per glass)

You forgot your password over lunch?  I want what YOU had!

sigh... good management is so hard to find.

sorry, all.  It's Thursday and I really really wish it were Friday.