Rat Man wrote on Dec 9
th, 2019 at 1:05pm:
One fear that's in the back of most peoples' minds as they grow old is becoming dependent. I would hate to need to depend on someone. After Dad died Mom lived to be 86 on her own. She was quite proud that she needed no one. She died in her own livingroom alone. It's how she wanted it. "I don't want to die in some God ******** hospital with tubes sticking out of me!" Becoming so old and feeble that you have to depend on someone for your daily existence would be a miserable way to live. I hope I go out like Mom. Living that long would be nice too.
I work in an old people's home and the people that live there are usually not in the best shape. A lot are entirely bed bound. I, of course, do my absolute best to make them as comfortable, happy and fulfilled as possible (as do all my colleagues) but there have been times I've come back from holiday and been a little sad that some of them are still there and haven't "moved on". There is one person in particular that I've been looking after for 5 years now. They haven't been able to walk for 4 and a half of those 5 years. They haven't been truly aware of where they are or what is happening around them for more than 5 years. They haven't spoken intelligibly for more than 5 years. They can't feed themselves or clean themselves and barely react when their family visit. They spend most of their time sleeping and when they are awake they are nervous and stare off into the distance. It feels like they are really only technically alive.
One of the saddest things I've ever heard was about one old man that was living there. One of the nurses said to me "Yeah he doesn't have any family... well he does, but they don't visit..." That was tough but then this same guy was upset one day and I asked what was wrong and he said that his parents were dead. This guy was pretty old so that wasn't a surprise but then he said "...and I can't go and put flowers on their graves." I had to take a moment to myself after hearing that because that was soul-crushing. I don't think I'll ever forget him saying that. He has now died and I wonder sometimes how many people remember him.