So, I just got out of prison in Dubai...
Yeah, I know, its a long story best told over beers in the Balearic Isles.
But, while I was in prison I had 4 Filipino cellmates and we were discussing improvised weapons, prison shanks and whatnot over prison dinner, which happened to include a bag of arabic flatbread.
A plastic bag.
If any of you remember my plastic bag sling videos you can probably guess where I'm going with this.
I took the plastic bread bag and used half a steel washer ground into a cutting instrument to slit the bag into rings, then joined, wound and created a plastic bag prison sling. Luckily our cell had a strategically placed basketball goal that blocked the camera, so in the cramped confines of our cell (all that indoor slinging in Dubai paid off) I began training my Filipino resistance Army in the black art of the figure 8.
I was using a few sock balls and we were popping them into the cell wall with some force...and noise...which attracted the attention of some onlookers. I was a little disappointed with all the Afghans, Pakis, Syrians, Lebos and locals not one guy knew how to sling.
Well, one of the locals, a particularly annoying fella started making some comments. I didn't know exactly what he was saying but I got the gist of it.
So I told him that if he could catch the sock ball when I slung it at him I'd give him 300 dirham. Of course his buddies egged him on even though they'd only seen me slinging into the cell wall 8 feet in from of me. I don't think they appreciated exactly how fast that sock ball was traveling.
So we moved out into the hallway where we went over the rules. He had to catch it in the air, no bounces, couldn't use his shirt as a trap, etc...
I also hoped the Screws weren't watching. Weapons are kind of a no-no...
So he got at the end of the hallway, 22 steps away (I can tell you exactly how many tiles are in the floor as well) and prepared to catch a harmless sock ball.
Now mind you, I was probably doing 1000 push ups, pull ups and sit ups a day AND I had been training my Army to sling, so I was cranking that sock ball upwards of 80 mph by my best reckoning. Plus, it was a pretty dense, small sock ball.
All 50 or so guys in the block came out to see what the commotion was about. The locals were cheering their champion on and no one really knew what to expect, especially because they had never seen the fig 8 before and wasn't even really sure how I was doing it. It happens pretty quick...
So I asked him if he was ready, he nodded and got into some kind of stance with his hands up in front of him, close to his face...
I took a deep breath (I love it when the pressure is on) and let one rip...hard.
As they say, its better to be lucky than good and Lady Luck was with me that day.
With a loud POP! That sock ball cracked out of the sling and hit him dead square in the NUTS!
He didn't even have time to flinch...and it dropped him like a sack of potatoes.
The crowd erupted into laughter and cheers...
They carted the poor guy off to his bunk where he stayed, doubled over, for a long time.
I actually felt kind of bad and went to check on him, worried I might have ruptured a testicle, not wanting to bring the heat down on me.
He recovered in a few hours.
Unfortunately I couldn't keep the sling. Wish I had a pic to share with you guys. It came out really good and obviously worked really good as well.
It was one of those surreal moments when everything went right, when everyone was watching.
So...plastic bag sling.
Prison tested.
Prison approved!