It seems that you have experience with such matters, Bill.  You are exactly right. Much to my surprise she moved back in yesterday.  She went back to dancing so at least she has her own money now.  I went to see her last week.  She is actually very talented... the best dancer there.  She still has her issues.  She talks about going on methadone.  I will gently prod her in that direction by all means at my disposal.  If I had it to do over again I would avoid her like the plague.  Lovers of addicts end up as collateral damage.  Obviously I'm in this way too deeply to do anything but ride it out at this point. Hopefully she'll really join the methadone clinic soon. Like Bill said, she has to fix herself.  Pray for us.

   I've decided to give Chrissie the boot forever for too many reasons to mention here. Time to find me a nice, calm senior like myself.

We have a major opiate problem in Western New York. People die every day. I really think that one of the problems is people don't want to deal with it. They don't see the addicts as people, but as sub human.
A new clinic to treat addicts is opening in a wealthy suburb near me, and people are up in arms over it. They don't want criminals, prostitutes, and inner city people ruining their way of life. They don't see that the problem is in their area as well. "It doesn't happen in our town, so why should we deal with the human garbage." was one of the comments.
Addiction comes in all forms, alcohol, cigarettes,ignorance. 

I loss my younger brother to an OD almost 2 years ago. He left behind 4 children.  He was 8 kont g s clean. In rehab, then one day walked out.3 months later he was gone. He wasn't ready to get the help he needed, he was in because of court order. If you want to.ever hang out, I usually go to red bank battlefield to sling in tge river

Thankfully, my love is seeking help and trying very hard to avoid bad influences. It's hard, though, when your life and location are filled with the people that enable you and the triggers that pushed you into addiction in the first place. For now, I'm just trying to be an encouraging presence. There's a lot of fear involved with loving someone that has been through addiction, something that is hard to understand on the outside. The fear that I won't be strong enough to walk away, to love tough, if she relapses. The fear that trying to support them will lead you to become another enabler, or worse. Someone that they use. The fear that they've come into or are staying in your life because of their the trauma and addiction, that you're not actually helping but in fact hurting their recovery. I have to believe that we're all worthy of being loved in our brokenness, and I do believe we're all broken in a way. So far, I haven't had to deal much with what I'd do if she falters. It's also complicated by the fact that it's almost never just drug addiction. I'm trying to navigate how to love a woman with a sex and love addiction. How can you not be an enabler of that? It's so hard, loving someone, wanting them to change for the better, and yet also not wanting to change them or make them into a different person, regardless. Good Lord do I understand where you've been, RM. You and Chrissy have my thoughts and prayers. There's nothing easy about any of this.

Well, RM, looks like you and I are both alone in this, together.

I don't know about RM, but I don't feel like I've stopped living. Don't get me wrong, I love this woman as much now as I did before she hurt me. I love her as much as or more than I've ever loved my immediate family. She is in my tribe and I would drop anything to rescue her. But my wellbeing is not and never will depend on someone else. I'm leaning on friends and family for help and I'm definitely not able to "move on" this quickly, but my past has taught me how to steer into the skid.

My mantra is: Regret nothing, feel everything, and let it all wash over you without trying to fight or cling to anything. So far it seems to be helping.