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Alone again (Read 4862 times)
Rat Man
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Alone again
Aug 5th, 2016 at 6:21am
 
   We seem to share a lot of personal info here so here goes. Some of you already know that my very lovely, much younger girlfriend/fiance has a bad drug problem. She has been an addict for eight years. It's not really an uncommon thing around here. Sometimes I think it's easier to get heroin and crack then it is to buy a beer. Yes, it's gotten that bad. One of the local blue collar towns here in New Jersey, Williamstown, recently led the nation in deaths by heroin overdose. Personally, I have no interest or use for it. I've seen it take and destroy way too many lives.
   Anyway, the law has caught up with Chrissie, as it eventually does. She's been in the slammer for the past 2 1/2 months and will remain there until her court ordered long term rehab starts, hopefully soon.
   She has accepted her fate and is ready to apply herself fully to successfully completing her rehab. It's good to hear her making the right noises. She is really a different person without the drugs. She's been clean since she's been in jail, which isn't a given. They can get dope behind bars if they want it. There is always a way... something I've learned from her.
   So I will keep the home fires burning and wait for her to successfully complete her rehab and come home to start her new life. I will be alone for a good long while. I intend to remain faithful. Everyone she has ever cared about and trusted has screwed her over majorly, which is a good part of the reason she's an addict.  We'll see how that goes. Wish us luck.
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Curious Aardvark
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Re: Alone again
Reply #1 - Aug 5th, 2016 at 7:26am
 
damn, you just don't seem to catch a break.

My thoughts are with you, for what it's worth.
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Do All things with Honour and Generosity: Regret Nothing, Envy None, Apologise Seldom and Bow your head to No One  - works for me Smiley
 
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perpetualstudent
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Re: Alone again
Reply #2 - Aug 5th, 2016 at 9:53am
 
Sorry to hear that Ratman. I hope things start looking up for the both of you.

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"Facts stand wholly outside our gates; they are what they are, and no more;they know nothing about themselves and they pass no judgement upon themselves. What is it, then, that pronounces the judgement? Our own guide and ruler, Reason."
 
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Woonilsra
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Re: Alone again
Reply #3 - Aug 5th, 2016 at 10:20pm
 
I hope all goes well for the both of you.
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Bill Skinner
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Re: Alone again
Reply #4 - Aug 7th, 2016 at 11:56am
 
Good luck and I hope all goes well.
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Thearos
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Re: Alone again
Reply #5 - Aug 8th, 2016 at 3:35pm
 
Keep strong
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Rat Man
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Re: Alone again
Reply #6 - Aug 10th, 2016 at 9:52pm
 
    Right now there are apparently two options. If there is no space for her an any long term rehab in the state they will have to release her on September 4th when she maxes out on time served. If they do that she will do Drug Court from home. Drug Court is extremely strict. She will be randomly tested a lot, have to go do five NA meetings per week, she will have to get some sort of job, have a ten o'clock curfew, and if she has even a glass of wine with dinner she will go to jail. Part of me hopes this happens because I will have her at home but part of me doubts she'll be strong enough to succeed without long term intensive rehab.
   The other option is that from now until September 4th they can assign her to a rehab.  Long term intensive rehab can last for up to two years. If she really applies herself she can greatly reduce that time. Hopefully she will. I am not getting any younger. Also most of the long term rehabs in are in North Jersey. We live in South Jersey and my Lyme disease has made me dyslexic so it's extremely difficult for me to drive in unfamiliar traffic patterns. We are talking two to three hours one way in horrible traffic here. At first it will be like she got sucked into a black hole. There is NO contact with the outside world. As she progresses she will gradually get more and more freedom. The thought of two years without her when we've already been apart for 2 1/2 months seems dreadful to me but if that's what she needs to get well then I will endure it.
   The last time she did rehab she successfully completed it. She returned home to be with her man of 3 1/2 years and her baby to find that she had been replaced by another woman. Needless to say she relapsed. Her father is a drunk who wanted nothing to do with her while she was growing up. Her mom.. I hardly know where to start. Her mom was the first person to stick a needle in her arm. I'll stop here because if I get going on her mom we'll run out of space.
   This doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the abuse and misery she's endured.
   Everyone she has ever cared about or trusted in her entire life has screwed her in a big way. I will be her rock.
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manu3259
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Re: Alone again
Reply #7 - Aug 14th, 2016 at 4:17pm
 
This is a sad story, I hope you and your girlfriend will go through this. It's sometimes hard to raise up after a fall, but we have to do it.
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timpa
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Re: Alone again
Reply #8 - Aug 14th, 2016 at 6:24pm
 
I wish you strength!
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Rat Man
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Re: Alone again
Reply #9 - Aug 19th, 2016 at 4:21am
 
Thanks.
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Rat Man
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Re: Alone again
Reply #10 - Jan 24th, 2017 at 7:53am
 
This story has the worst of endings. Chrissie was sent to long term rehab the end of September. She walked out the first day.  In that her leaving constituted a probation violation she was arrested about two weeks later and taken back to jail where she served the rest of her time. None of her crimes were of a serious nature so she was finally released, free and clear, on December 15th. She has since returned to the streets and her former life as an addict. Her body has taken just about all of the abuse it can. Even her family is predicting that she won't see thirty. I don't know what else I could have done to try and save her. I guess she was doomed from the start. Those who know about this sort of thing all say that you can't help an addict. That recovery has to come from within. Lord knows, I've tried.
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Morphy
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Re: Alone again
Reply #11 - Jan 24th, 2017 at 9:44am
 
Speaking from my own experience people turn to addiction because they are running from something. Be it peer pressure, pain, even boredom. Happy people don't need to use. You can't fix whatever is going on in her.  Once she finds peace and happiness she will probably naturally quit but that's up to her to find. Sorry it didn't work out like you hoped. At least you cared enough to try though.
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Rat Man
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Re: Alone again
Reply #12 - Jan 24th, 2017 at 10:22am
 
You are absolutely correct, Morphy.  She's had a horrible life, almost unbelievably so,  and the pain has left many such voids to fill. On the positive side, she just called me from our local methadone clinic.  She wants me to come up and pay her intake fee today. I'll keep my expectations low but this is at least something positive. She has taught me to be a pessimist but this is something.
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Tomas
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Re: Alone again
Reply #13 - Jan 24th, 2017 at 11:16am
 
God bless you Ratman
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SlingerDave
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Re: Alone again
Reply #14 - Jan 24th, 2017 at 5:15pm
 
Ratman, I don't know what to say, but everything you did for her is a testament of sacrificially love, and that type is the strongest.
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You know your a slinger when your youth pastor's nickname for you is Five Smooth.
 
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