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Troy- no slingers! (Read 4383 times)
justin Ball
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Troy- no slingers!
May 31st, 2004 at 5:31pm
 
Just got back from seeing Troy. Didn't see any slingers, though I'm sure there's a few lines in the Aeniad about 'em.

Dissapointed.

Justin
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Johnny
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #1 - May 31st, 2004 at 8:00pm
 
I'm not suprised-typical Hollywood.
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I also love sushi..!
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #2 - May 31st, 2004 at 8:12pm
 
I can understand their reasoning.....cowards.  Brad Pitt did not want to take the chance of being showed up by the likes of myself.   They approached me about doing a cameo as a fierce 'slinger assasin'  and Brad had to stick his nose into things and get my part nixed from the show......Jealous bastard,  that Pitt!   We almost came to blows after the incident but I decided to bow out gracefully......and I didn't want to end up with him jumpin up all over me and stickin a sword in my neck and all.   He really believes the hype!   My big screen debut will have to wait....it seems.
Undecided

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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #3 - May 31st, 2004 at 9:18pm
 
Tech
You could be the "White Shaft" of slinging. Your glandes should be inscribed"Up Yours Man"(I did see this in Greek on an ancient glande!)!
Johnny
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I also love sushi..!
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #4 - May 31st, 2004 at 10:47pm
 
That's comforting to know Johnny, however I think that the 'White Fat Albert' of slinging would be more like it.  The inscriptions would read: "Hey.. Hey... Hey.... I missed again!".   Actually,  I could see you being more like the 'White Shaft' than me....picture this guys:  Johnny slingin to the rhythm of some coool  Barry White......I can hear it now.....Johnny's got his big boom box out during a sling session, jammin to:  "I can't get enough of your glandes"........LOL!  Tongue


P.S.  "statistically I had to do it"  Johnny Wink
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Chris
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #5 - May 31st, 2004 at 11:59pm
 
I saw Troy a few days ago and was kind of glad slings weren't in it.  It might have tainted their image being in such a poor film. Wink  In the original text of the Iliad, it does mention slings.  I've searched this document and pulled out matches:  http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~joelja/iliad.html

"the spear went right through his
hand and stuck in the bow itself, so that to his life he retreated
under cover of his men, with his hand dragging by his side- for the
spear weighed it down till Agenor drew it out and bound the hand
carefully up in a woollen sling which his esquire had with him."

"but they had come to Troy armed
with bows, and with slings of twisted wool from which they showered
their missiles to break the ranks of the Trojans."

Thats it, out of the entire epic poem.  Sad

Chris
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #6 - Jun 1st, 2004 at 1:36am
 
Ditto here Chris.   The movie opened with such great promise and quickly spiraled ever downward much like the scene awaiting those who have never tried a 'low-flow' toilet.   From a cinematography standpoint alone, it certainly had it's moments but I've seen better plots contained in but a single rerun of 'Xena-warrior princess' than this gratuitously long 'epic' stinker.  Was it worth seeing?  Yes, once......If not solely to quench my undying curiosity for all undertakings of such an ambitious nature.   The rather epicurean underpinning of the 'plot' was contrasted emphatically with 'Achilles'/Brad takin it in the heel by that increasingly ubiquitous 'Lord of the rings archer dude'.   I was somewhat dumfounded by the almost universal reaction of the crowd in my particular movie theater.  At that pivotal moment.......they all winced in unison.   I have since come to the carefully chosen retrospective hope that they, as I, were wincing from our own shared and sharp empathetic pangs.......for the pain of Brad taking it in the heel?  no...no.  The pain of us all taking it in the shorts emotionally and collectively for 3hrs!    How does one 'take it in the shorts' emotionally you ask?  Simply by having ones head up the spot where the shorts go!  which is why I didn't listen to the 'experts' on this one.....you know....what's their names,  Siskel and Dilbert or whatever.   I think they said it stunk and I said.....yeah.....whuddyu know!  Now I know.  Hey....we still got the Alexander movie comin up and Predator Vs. Alien......I smell sling time....sirius sling time!        not.  Oh well.  I am coming more and more to the realization that I may, in fact, have to film my own 'B' movie (call me optimistic) of the 'Way of the True Slingsman', to get any voyeuristic satisfaction and partially satiate my voracious appetite for perhaps getting to see my comrades at arms in action.   

Whew!   Did I really just spew out all that superfluous crap?!  Too much sublingual B12 after 10PM again..... Lips Sealed for now.....
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english
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #7 - Jun 1st, 2004 at 6:52am
 
Tech, you are the master of rambling.  That is a compliment.
I heard that Troy also contains the Trojan horse; I thought it was a film of The Iliad, not the Odyssey?  I suppose the horse is the only thing the majority of people remember about Troy.
Quote:
Hey....we still got the Alexander movie comin up
And I also heard that there will be a new movie about the battle of Thermopylae.  I am sure that will be quite good, hopefully, but I don't know whether slingers will be involved.
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #8 - Jun 1st, 2004 at 10:05am
 
I was really, really hoping for some slingers in TROY, hopefully some damn cool scene with a thousand slingers throwing stones ... and I can say, 'yeah, shit, I do that too  Grin'

But it never happened.

On TROY as a film. Not fantastic, but pretty good. And as long as films are being made about the ancient world we shouldn't complain!

Can't wait for Alexander! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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They shrink for fear, abated of their rage,&&Nor longer dare in a blind fight engage;&&Contented now to gall them from below&&With darts and slings, and with the distant bow.&&&&Aeneid 9.503&&
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #9 - Jun 1st, 2004 at 3:00pm
 
I really liked the movie, despite the absence of the gods.

Did they really use woolen slings?
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #10 - Jun 2nd, 2004 at 4:45am
 
Maybe we should set us up as a pro-slinging lobby to persuade film makers to include anciant slingers in their movies Wink If they don't do it now is obviously because they don't know that this weapon played such an important role at that time. Obviously an army of slingers throwing stones can be as spectacular as an army of archers.

Foner
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #11 - Jun 2nd, 2004 at 1:39pm
 
Quote:
Obviously an army of slingers throwing stones can be as spectacular as an army of archers

I've never thought about what it would look like for nearly 100 slingers launching stones at the same time.  That would be like so cool looking.  We need to get like a bunch of slingers together and do that.  Grin it would be awesome!!  That probably wont happen for a while but it would be cool.
Sean
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justin Ball
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #12 - Jun 4th, 2004 at 12:19am
 
At the Weald and Downland Museum they do a storm of arrows in August, where all the long bow archers get together and fire off. Those in the uk or even Europe could consider adding a second spectacle.
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rob
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #13 - Jun 6th, 2004 at 12:36am
 
the movie about the Spartans is an adaptation of "Gates of Fire" by Steven Pressfield. great read! can't remember any slings, will have to go back and read it again. they're talking about Bruce Willis as King Leonidas.

so can't wait for Alexander. the trailer is out, and even though they gave Colin Farrel a bad bleach job the armor is spot on!

and then there's the Hannibal movie in production starring Vin Diesel. could be good and it could end up being "Dude, Where's My Elephant?"


anyway.....back to the creekbed for more stones.....
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Re: Troy- no slingers!
Reply #14 - Jun 6th, 2004 at 1:27am
 
Dude....where's my elephant!  Good one.  Keep 'em coming!
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