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Confession is good for the 'soul'..... (Read 3102 times)
Yahweh Bless you in Yeshua
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Matthew 11:25-30

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Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Apr 10th, 2004 at 9:02pm
 
I just thought I would take the opportunity to come clean regarding a youthful indiscretion.   I am not proud at all regarding the resulting cowardice surrounding the event.  It all began one evening in 1988.   I was in my early twenties and thought I'd meet up with the guys down at the local tavern in my small hometown.  After a bit of brew we began reminiscing about our high school days and our sports achievements.  Somewhere along the line I brought up the subject of the sling and how It was a hobby of mine since my early teens.  Well, before long it became apparent I would have to back up my wild claims.....(yeah right).....hiccup.   Suffice it to say that my 'faculties' had left the building.   We went out back into the alley which bordered the rear parking lot where my black, 327 small block ,67 Chevy pickup was parked.  [This truck was my pride and joy....it was decked out with an excellent paint job with great runner graphics, chrome, sunroof,  older Recaro buckets, Katana sword handle gear shift, Stainless 4pt. Shuriken hood ornament...etc.] I prepared to put my money where my mouth was.....I retrieved my sling from the glove box....now I only had to find suitable ammo for the demonstration of the "Sling of the Mighty Conqueror".   At this point I should qualify my impending 'admission' with the following:  I in no way intended to harm any life or property and only intended to demonstrate that I could sling a projectile at high velocity and with impressive range.
    
     Now,  I should mention as well that the situation at the time seemed entirely surmountable and I was in total control.
(Hiccup).....(buuurrrrp)
  I sized up my surroundings and selected the town auditorium, a block away, to utterly humiliate with the sting of defeat.  (In the sense that I was going to make it seem tiny beneath the majestic parabola of the hissing meteor I was about to unleash.)  "What to sling, what to sling".....I thought as I searched for just the right projectile that would remain visible at such high velocity to my unwashed and unwitting cohorts.   Aha!  The large, ugly, white ball gear shift knob that had come with the truck when I had purchased it!  It should gleam with reflective streaks of fire from the setting sun....It just doesn't get any better than this!  Besides, I had been in subliminal expectation of the chance to ceremoniously sacrifice this offending, greasy excuse for an automotive accoutrement.....and NOW was my chance!  It had been rattling around in the bed of my truck for FAR too long!  It's time was at an end....Mwaaahaaahaaa! 

( At this point comes to me the dubious realization that there really was no way to reveal my ammo choice to most of you without the resultant, immediate revelation that, I am sure, is taking place in the heads of most of my esteemed colleagues here in the forum at this very moment.....drats!)   

To make a long story short.....it rolled out of the pocket at the worst possible moment.....hit a beautiful glass window in the Church down the street and we all stood in utter amazement at my apparent 'malevolent prowess' for what seemed like an 'eternity' only to come out of our shared trance at the exact same moment and let the dust fly in a foot race, each to his chariot of choice and left the battlefield.......leaving that elusive and legendary foe known as STUPIDITY to be conquered another day.   In addendum,  I would like also to reveal the spontaneity of this admission.  I have told this true story to almost no other living soul and you are the first as a group to hear of it.....I fully intend to come clean with the pastor who very likely may have used that greasy gear knob as some sort of object lesson in a sermon the following Sunday. 

   So, hey!  Stay with me on this.......in all reality it may have been meant to be that this event occurred!   I may actually have helped someone by my actions that day!   With this new train of thought I hope and trust that you all can keep a secret as I hereby absolve myself from any further twinges of guilt regarding the preceding made up story.......   Wink Embarrassed
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Johnny
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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #1 - Apr 10th, 2004 at 10:27pm
 
Funny story Tech! I know what you mean!
Back around 1981, I bought a morning star. You know, handle with a chain and iron spiked ball. I was with my friends and pulled it out of my car and displayed my prized pig. One of my buddies snatched it out of my hand and gave it a whirl. The ball flew off the chain and landed right between two cars. Coming inches from shattering a rear windshield. Whew!!
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Matthew 11:25-30

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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #2 - Apr 10th, 2004 at 10:36pm
 
Uh oh,  Johnny I think you got something started now......(mwaaahaaahaa) Cheesy.....let's keep'em coming guys....I know there are some absolute gems out there!......just has to be.....
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Chris
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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #3 - Apr 10th, 2004 at 11:24pm
 
You had me going there for a second; I thought your truck was going to be the unfortunate recipient...  Although, a church isn't a good one either.   Could have be worse.  Might have hit a person. 

Chris
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nwmanitou
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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #4 - Apr 10th, 2004 at 11:40pm
 
My most vivid memories of slinging include just how high a sheep can jump vertically when "startled" Grin, and how quickly the entire flock can run accross the pasture. Yeah, I know, it was bad, but I was only 6 years old.
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Yahweh Bless you in Yeshua
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Matthew 11:25-30

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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #5 - Apr 11th, 2004 at 3:26am
 
Chris,  yeah I wondered about that..... Wink   In all honesty It sure didn't miss my truck by much.  It missed taking out the back windshield by about 3 feet.   I made sure the guys were standing on my left side during my stupid stunt and was ultimately glad they did!
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Yahweh Bless you in Yeshua
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Matthew 11:25-30

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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #6 - Apr 11th, 2004 at 2:07pm
 
Now we know how Nwmanitou can sleep at night......fffwippp.........THUMP......1...........fffwippp.......THUMP.......2.
...... 8)
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WildAtHeart
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woo hoo

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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #7 - Apr 11th, 2004 at 10:47pm
 
Since I love projectiles, and I wanted to get into sports last year, the natural route for me was lacrosse. Unfortunately I didnt have time to play this year, but last year was awesome. With my 6-foot defense stick I could lob a hard rubber ball about 200 feet!
However, this skill took a good deal of practice. The summer before the school year I played, I remember bringing my lax sticks to Florida. My cousin and I would play out in his yard with oranges and stuff, and had a good time making them splat all over the place.
My cuz and I took a trip to the beach, and brought the sticks and a hard rubber ball. We stayed in the dry part of the sand and lobbed the ball back and forth for a while. Then this old Italian man smoking a big cigar came shuffling down the beach. My cousin made a tremendous lob in my direction, and he wasnt a very good shot, so the ball landed directly on the old man's bald head. Needless to say, he was NOT happy. I have been hit my lax balls alot, and they are very painful.
I ran up to the victim, and apologized profusely, and gathered up the ball at his feet. But the man didn't say anything, he just gave me the darkest mobster stare I've ever seen. Man, I thought I was gonna get killed by the Godfather that night!
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Matthew 11:25-30

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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #8 - Apr 12th, 2004 at 3:33am
 
I can see why!   Cheesy  That must've been one tough bean!  I wonder what he would've done if you had stared back with your best 'mobster stare' and said....."we was aimin for your stogie, this is a smoke free beach".......botta bing, botta bang.  8)
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woo hoo

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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #9 - Apr 12th, 2004 at 10:34pm
 
Yeah, I wonder? Hahaha
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Matthew 11:25-30

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Re: Confession is good for the 'soul'.....
Reply #10 - Apr 13th, 2004 at 5:39pm
 
TSSSSSSS....(sound of stogie cherry in moist eye tissue)......OWWWWW!  My EYE!!!   Nice goin slick!  Angry
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